Our knowledge of certain classical languages is due entirely to the Rosetta Stone, an ancient rock crib sheet which has the same passage translated into several languages. Here, perhaps for the first time, I will endeavor to provide the same service for certain oral dialects of the English language, which may otherwise be lost to us once their supporting cultures subside. I hope this will be both informative and entertaining.
London street:
Blood dju fink cos your up in my face I won't step to, dough? You get me? Brrap. Na man I will shank you, yeah, cos you ain't never giving props to me and my family, but cos we were like this yeah you getta walk. Today, dough, you get me? Pssh.
Mexican holmes:
Hey holmes you wanna stop dat? You know me, ey, you know my people, you don' wanna ride with me, cos I will go loco, I will go loco, and you don' wan' see me stepping, holmes. My moms, she's no happy, you need to show that woman some care, yeah? Carnalito we used to roll, so you live today. Today, ey?
London irish:
Now hold on dare a minute lad. I tink you'd better get yerself a drink or something, because, and I'll be honest with you, you're really starting to get on me tits. Don't make me take you outside cos mother of Mary I will and you saw what happened to the Flannigan lad. Now why'd you have to go and be so rude about me ma? You get off today, ye cheeky git, because of how's we used to be alright and that, but you'd better not try me if I've had a rough day, alright now? Jaysus.
London gentleman's club:
My dear fellow, please don't think for one moment that simply because you are deporting yourself in an insufferably aggressive manner you will be able to intimidate me - do you understand? Quite the opposite: I am perfectly prepared to defend myself by whatever means necessary, should the occasion arise, especially in the light of the disrespectful remarks you recently directed towards my relations. Yet I shall refrain from escalation as a mark of consideration towards our formerly cordial acquaintance. I can only hope that you will not be so bold as to test my reserve in future, by golly.
Sorry to any Mexicans, Irish, or Londoners reading this post.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
that was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteJust how long did that take you to write? Genius.
My favorite was the London Gentleman's club.
p.s Should I be putting my real name on this?
Oops too late. I'm sure it's fine, just don't put anything else. If you add yourself as a follower you can have blogspot mail you when there's a new post.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a little while, the longest was Mexican seen as I had to do a bit of research.. thanks very much!